why do i feel disgusted when someone likes me

Chances are it is what you said, there is something you are not accepting about yourself and/or having a hard time taking a compliment of someone noticing how cool of a person you are/looks you may have. You only have your past to draw from and since this guy who has started to like you wasn’t a part of your past, you truly have nothing to realistically judge him with. 2. Is it pointless to try to change people's opinions? Anyway your description sound like an involuntary stress response you may have involuntarily learned (or taught yourself) over the years. Practice this for me...start examining your thoughts and catch these negative thoughts as they are happening, in a loud voice in your head tell them to F%ck off and tell them that you don't need to listen to them any longer. Make a mental note that you are ready to look at the bigger picture. The more we feel disgusted by those around us, the more we feel bad about ourselves, and the more we categorize ourselves as disgusting. I mean I want to have a boyfriend and get married and have kids, its just whenever I find out someone likes me I get REALLY anxious. Unfortunately, you have created these preconceived notions based on no substantive evidence or proof. Remember that you actually don’t know where this guy is coming from. You will have to look back on your life and on your experiences. Here are 7 ways to reduce the toxic feelings of disgust that come from being judgmental of others: 1. This is the long-term solution. ), While it may feel bad, disgust is actually a, We can determine the difference between fear and disgust threats within 96 milliseconds, Calming breaths also engage your frontal lobe. Bill Maier has a private practice in downtown Portland, OR. I cant stand posting on social media anymore. However, you have now used that experience as the example for how all future relationships will go. Do understand that you would be judging a different guy. When you activate your frontal lobe, you automatically calm an impulse like disgust. You might be overly judgmental to yourself, and/or feel uncomfortable with expressing/dealing with emotions. i dont mean incest...u had problems with one of your parents. There are certain things about yourself that you don't like and when someone finds you attractive, you think that they are silly to like you for those things that upset you. This happens more often than you would probably think. in: Relationships, Viewing 2 topics - 1 through 2 (of 2 total), I don't know if he is mad at me or if he has lost interest in me, Friend zoned: but with future trip planned. Feeling an overabundance of disgust is a habit formed early in life, which may or may not tie in with your values and beliefs. Still have questions? Reframe your feelings. It sounds like you answered your own question "I think it's me...I don't really like myself" How can you take on board compliments and believe it when people like you when you don't even like yourself. This is why you really need to be very careful when you allow this disgusted feeling to be what dominates your consciousness when you sense that a guy is starting to like you. 7. When you convince yourself you're entitled to feel disgusted, you also tell yourself that you're a victim. Create an image in your mind of what soothes you, and call on it the next time you notice yourself in that judgmental place. Like whenever someone likes me, i start freaking out and having this sick depressing feeling and I just want to ignore that person. Calming breaths also engage your frontal lobe. Why does racism still exist today in this 'advanced' age ? Once you feel that feeling of disgust, your mind automatically forces you to avoid allowing yourself to develop feelings for this guy because it would only lead to pain. Don't bad mouth the person you felt upset with. Perhaps it wasn’t even your fault that the relationship ended. When we feel disgusted, we purse our mouths as though we want to spit something out. There is one more 3rd one which is very simple. Many times this nervous laugh was very inappropriate, and I didn't even realize I was doing it until too late and the other person may have been offended. Psych Meds Saved Me From Mental Illness — And I'm Not Ashamed, 6 Ways To Keep Bipolar Disorder From Being A Dealbreaker. How Often Do You See A Person You Just Started Dating? It is a self-destructive habit you must recognize and break. Then start to pep talk yourself by saying, I am amazing and beautiful or whatever feels right for you (even if you don't believe it and it is hard keep doing it you will start seeing changes within yourself) go write it on your mirror, on a bit of card that you can slip into your pocket, I dare you to look in a mirror and look yourself in the eye and say it. All of this happens because the feelings of disgust, disdain, and contempt tie in with our senses of taste, smell and touch. Use your imagination in a healthy way. 3. Being aware uses the frontal lobe of your brain. According to Urban Dictionary , SRS is “a condition many people experience after dating an individual for a short amount of time. You can sign in to vote the answer. It is not what you think about things about yourself but what you think about things about other people, that counts. Rather than spending time imagining what other people are doing and thinking, become more mindful of your own wants, needs and feelings. Don't let your feelings control your thinking. I Went Out On A First Date With This Guy, He Made Out He Was Really Into Me And Now He Is Being Really Distant. This is your only way out when you feel disgust (in the present or when remembering a time you felt so in the past). But do talk to a trusted friend about your struggle with these emotions. — which leads us to see ourselves as disgusting. I think it's me.. Disgust is one of our most basic emotions, and is naturally expressed early in infants through rejection and avoidance behaviors. I bet inside your head you think 'god they must be crazy to like me, they obviously haven't looked hard enough, I am ugly, stupid etc etc' blah blah blah I'm sure a lot of horrible negative self talk goes on. For me; when I hear of, or think about feeling disgusted, I take that as meaning a feeling of physical discomfort or even mild nausea. Perhaps it wasn’t even your fault that the relationship ended. For me; when I hear of, or think about feeling disgusted, I take that as meaning a feeling of physical discomfort or even mild nausea. Why Do I Feel Anxious When I Really Like A Guy? A possible way you make fix that is to try and switch the way you think about yourself, when you look in a mirror, do you think about things you need to improve on or qualities that are good about you! I have no idea why though. Is It The End? 50 Ways To Make A Guy Miss You And Want You Back, 50 Ways To Make A Guy Chase You And Keep Him Interested. I don't really like myself or I don't know... :/. The first one is that you don’t like the guy back, and you don’t know how to tell him without him being embarrassed. When I experience this, I make sure to pause and make a mental list for myself of the reasons such negative thoughts are harmful. Am I bad person for not texting anymore my friend of 30 years with depression as she’s not replying? Both emotions arise as our body responds to a perceived threats to our survival. Hopefully mom and dad put up with just the right amount of our tantrums, while also guiding us to better ways of communicating that we think something is "yucky" without throwing a narcissistic fit. If our parents responded in ways that confused us, we can't figure out what else to do with our feelings of disgust. © 2020 by Tango Media Corporation All Rights Reserved. He is a totally different person. Going to bed with unresolved judgmental thoughts will only leave you waking up with even more. (Think of a baby's facial expression tasting food he or she doesn't like for the first time. People often do this after they have been through a particularly painful break up in the past. However, when we feel disgusted, we automatically suppress our attention to our visual world. What To Do When You Feel Absolute DISGUST Toward Other People, - Our best articles delivered straight to your inbox, Disgust is one of our most basic emotions, and is naturally expressed early in infants through rejection and avoidance behaviors. We first learn to express the things that bother us as children, we tell our parents about the things we dislike. It is not who they are or what they look like (I could care less about looks). Start choosing to believe that you are worthy and that you are attractive. Being a victim feels disgusting. There may be an element to your history that has made you look at guys and even yourself in a particularly negative fashion. Why? 7 Ways To Protect Kids From YOUR Parental Depression? The opposite of sneering is finding a place inside yourself where you feel kind, respectful and caring. There could be a few reasons. Our eyes and nostrils open wide to scan for threats, without paying attention to the other sights and smells around us  We can determine the difference between fear and disgust threats within 96 milliseconds. Very common in teenagers/young adults. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. In fact, many of us even have trouble even recognizing this feeling when it overtakes us. This is way faster than we can think. It's easy to find faults in others,  which just enhances your feelings of disgust. In essence, that feeling of disgust is a defense mechanism that makes you aware of what is going on and thereby encourages you to quickly put up your defenses. Another reason why you feel disgusted when a guy starts to like you is because you may have failed in the past in a romantic relationship that you believed would last forever. and also when someone shows they like you, apart of u rejects it cause u dont believe anyone could really love u, mabye ur disgusting secrety inside...im like this tooxx. Although not always the case, it is normally very difficult to change these kinds of things about ourselves unassisted, and usually becomes more difficult with age. And thus the trap is set. It is a self esteem issue, you have this little critic inside you who tells you you are not good enough and convinces you you are unlikeable. There are only two things that come to my mind right now. You lack self confidence and self respect. Things like hairy arms or a big nose, or big thighs (for example) and you wonder why someone would find those things attractive. It could be due to something negative that happened to you in your previous relationship. This is an involuntary response caused by our unconscious desire to quickly get rid of what our body perceives as a toxic threat, whether to our physical well-being or to our mental health. Take a college psychology 101 course to gain a greater understanding of these things from a broad perspective; or seek help from a counselor/psychologist/therapist. (Think of a baby's facial expression tasting food he or she doesn't like for the first time.). Notice when judgmental thoughts pop into your head. This blocks your mind from getting emotionally involved with this guy and thereby you can keep your protective wall up. People of all ages are affected by these things so it is not limited to teenagers or young adults.Yu just have to remind yourself that if someone likes you, they like you for your personality and not necessarily just the way you look however, some people do like large/skinny, tall/short.

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